


Two of a Crime

by orphan_account



Category: Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Canon Typical Violence, Date Night, Fluff, Handcuffs, Interrogation, M/M, Police, They're Non Sexy Handcuffs, Valentine's Day, jaydick_flashfic: valentine’s crime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 09:48:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17702063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jason shows up to his and Dick's date night early and in handcuffs.





	Two of a Crime

**Author's Note:**

> This prompt is so cute! Title courtesy of an ADORABLE song called Two of a Crime by Perma.

Dick left his office sore. He’d spent the better part of the day in recorded interviews with witnesses, and then the rest of the day sifting through the various, conflicting statements. The night before he’d completed a drug bust as Nightwing, one that had ended with a few pulled muscles in his back and a dislocated shoulder that Jason had to relocate.

Sitting for hours wasn’t part of Alfred’s post-mission care plan.

But it would be worth it. It was Valentine’s Day. He had to work the next day, but he’d ensured he wouldn’t be on call for the weekend by abusing his vigilante resources and toying with the laughably hackable precinct calendar. A near fist fight with Bruce, and several favors promised to the kiddos, meant that Nightwing had at least the next two nights clear to spend with Jason.

Beginning with dinner that night.

And when Dick wandered into the main area of the precinct to stretch his legs, he was charmed to see that Jason was eager for a headstart.

So eager, he was waiting for Dick. And when Dick whistled, Jason snapped to attention and then sunk into an easy grin when he made eye contact with Dick. Then, from where he perched handcuffed and seated next to a weary-looking uniformed officer, Jason wolf whistled.

“Didn’t know the BPD was so hard up that they’d resorted to hiring streetwalkers,” Jason shouted. “Hey, _ba-a-aby_ , come home with me, yeah?” Jason shouted, inflecting his voice and kissing at Dick. Dick grimaced. He hated when Jason code switched; he knew Jason wouldn’t use that sort of derogatory language if he wasn’t being booked. Jason checked on the girls in the Narrows nightly, even when he was otherwise occupied or out of commission. It was, like, part of date night.

“You’re not. I keep telling you’re not going home,” the officer muttered. “You’re being arrested. We’ve arrested you.”

“Don’t worry, Reinhart,” Dick chirped. “This one’s one of mine.”

“I like the sound of that. Say that again, but real slow, and maybe a little huskier for me,” Jason cooed.

Dick looked at him, set his mouth in a hard line, and then said _real_ slow, “Don’t worry, Reinhart.”

Jason barked out a laugh, and Reinhart glared at Dick. “You couldn’t pick better informants?” he hissed. “This one punched an officer while slinking around a known brothel.”

“You mean, this one, this informant, more specifically, was caught near a den of known criminal activity? Here I thought I was employing him to scrounge around grocery store parking lots in case a high schooler dropped his marijuana cigarette,” Dick deadpanned, crossing his arms and glaring Reinhart down. Reinhart caved and ducked his head.

“Well, get ‘im out of here, I don’t want to keep lookin’ at him,” Reinhart mumbled, swiveling to face his computer as if Dick hadn’t already seen his flush.

“Aw, but we were bonding!” Jason scoffed, scandalized. Dick rolled his eyes.

“Get over here,” Dick muttered, jerking his head in the direction of his office. “We’ve apparently got shit to discuss, and you’re not as cute as you think you are.”

“Agree to disagree,” Jason smirked, hopping up from his seat. “Hey, what are the chances I could lose the wrist jewelry?” He jangled the cuffs expectantly, kicking Reinhart’s chair leg. Reinhart didn’t grace him with even a glance.

“No,” Dick answered instead. “Now get your ass over here. I’ve got a date tonight, and you’re not going to make me late, you hear?”

Jason had the decency to look sheepish. “You got it, Detective,” he mumbled, striding towards Dick, who just ushered Jason into the office with a shouted apology to the rest of the precinct.

The door closed with such force that the frame shuddered. Dick jerked back the chair opposite his desk before taking his own seat. He clasped his hands on the desk and blinked at Jason, face impassive.

“So, informant,” Dick murmured, voice level but vacant, “inform me.”

Jason licked his lips and fidgeted in his chair. He looked away from Dick.

Dick sighed. “How far did you get in the booking process? Do I need to step in and take care of it?”

“Not far,” Jason mumbled, still not meeting Dick’s eyes. “I stalled. He had my fake ID, didn’t notice that it wasn’t my picture on it. He was trying to run it when you appeared.”

Dick closed his eyes and leaned back with a groan. “Jason, this is not how tonight was supposed to go.”

Jason grimaced. “I didn’t punch a cop, Dickie.”

Dick opened his eyes, stared at the ceiling. “Yeah? What did you do to cajole a lazy cop into an arrest, then? They don’t do jack shit unless there’s a bribe in it.”

“I set up a trip wire,” Jason confessed, “I was testing it near the brothel because the madam gave me the go ahead to set up some security for her employees. The cop came to solicit, while on duty, for your mental record, and fucked himself on my wire. I went to go release him, for you, by the way, and he lashed out. Like a goddamn trapped animal, except at least animals are cute,” Jason muttered.

Dick glanced down his nose at Jason. “He make it to the hospital?”

“’Course. Wouldn’t let your maimed cop die on the street on Valentine’s Day,” Jason grumbled, meeting Dick’s gaze.

Dick sat up. “You’re such a romantic,” he deadpanned. Jason opened his mouth to argue, but Dick shook his head. “Sorry, sorry. Trying for levity.”

Jason paused and then offered up a small smile. “Stick to puns, Boy Blunder. Leave the dry wit to me.”

Dick grinned, and Jason’s own smile spread. And then Dick started laughing, and Jason rolled his eyes.

“How pissed was the officer?” Dick snickered. Jason smirked.

“Furious. Serves him right, you know he was going to threaten them with arrest and try and sneak a free quickie. He won’t be able to get it up for a while without thinking about chicken wire.”

Dick pulled open a desk drawer and procured a key. “Speaking of the worst sort of bondage, c’mere. I don’t like seeing you in handcuffs.”

“You left me in them for pretty long,” Jason retorted, although he stood and turned around to give Dick access. Dick stepped away from his desk and unlocked the cuffs. When Dick tossed the cuffs into his chair, Jason faced Dick and presented his naked wrists to him. Dick reached for the bottle of lotion on his desk, squirted some in his hand, and massaged the moisturizer into Jason’s raw wrists.

“Yeah, well, you called me baby in front of the rest. And might have punched a cop, which would have made walking you out of here dramatically harder,” Dick murmured, lifting one of Jason’s wrists to kiss the fragrant skin.

“That can’t taste good,” Jason said, pulling his wrist away. Dick batted his eyes.

“You always taste good,” he cooed. Jason looked away, a blush blossoming across his cheeks. “So does that Vietnamese place down the street.”

Jason perked up and met Dick’s eyes. “Vietnamese?” he chirped. Dick grinned.

“Best in the state,” he promised. Jason raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips. “Okay, don’t argue with me, it’s like, at least in the top ten.”

“I believe you,” Jason shrugged. “You get us a table?”

Dick laughed. “No, of course not. I can’t eat so close to the precinct with you, at least not how I want to. Not that some of the detectives don’t hit their informants, but I don’t want that reputation.”

Jason’s was rapidly falling into unimpressed incredulity, so Dick scrambled to clarify, “I’ve ordered us take-out. Thought we could park it on a roof near where you found that cop; as long as we have the brothel’s permission to watch the streets.”

Jason emitted a guttural grown, reminiscent enough of Jason’s other noises for Dick to twitch in his slacks. Dick winced and hoped Jason didn’t notice. “God, Goldie, how’d you get so good at this?”

“Good at what?” Dick grinned crookedly. “Good at you? A metric fuck ton of practice. Several failed attempts. By capitalizing on a shared interest in Vietnamese and the greater good.” Jason pulled Dick closer with fingers in Dick’s belt loops. Dick obligingly wrapped his arms around Jason’s neck and buried his face in Jason’s jaw.

“What’s the worst thing that could happen if we had sex in your office?” Jason murmured into Dick’s hair.

“Well,” Dick said. “We’d be too tired to fuck on the roof.”

Dick grinned into Jason’s rapidly flushing skin.

**Author's Note:**

> There is NO fucking way that detectives in Bludhaven get their own offices, but where else are they gonna fuck?


End file.
